When the behavior of an addict is discovered, often times the last words that come to mind are hope, restoration, and reconciliation. The divide between the addict and loved ones is palpable. The fallacy of what was thought of as normal is brought to the light. For the addict, hope is a concept that seems impossible. For the betrayed partner, even more so. But the reality is that hope is the one thing we can hold onto.

Understand that this does not mean that everything will work out as we want it too. In fact, that process takes a very long time, if even at all. The hope spoken of here is the hope that we, as individuals, can be healed in whatever that may look like. We are all individuals and there is no prescription that will bring about a “happy outcome” right away. Some studies show that it takes 3-5 years before any sense of normalcy is found. Patience for our own healing is key.

Regarding restoration and reconciliation, the key is to, again, be patient. Making quick decisions may have long term affects we can’t foresee. Of course, there are some decisions that need to made without delay. The decisions we make to help keep us safe. Specifically, the betrayed partner needs to protect themselves from further damage as it relates to the trauma they have endured.